25 Things You Should Know Before Getting Married

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Getting married is a big deal, that’s why you should always try getting to know your partner/spouse, before doing so. You don’t want to be gambling with your future do you? That’s why you should always think about what’s important to you first before the I do’s. Marriage is a big step, and a huge commitment. Always try to remember that. Don’t be hastily rushing into things, if you are not sure if your chosen spouse is the right one. There are a couple of things you should know before getting married, because you don’t want to end up marrying the wrong person. Here are a few things you should know;

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Each Other’s Career Goals

Before getting married it is always wise to casually discuss each other’s career goals for the future. It is always important to try to find a partner with career goals that correspond with yours. You don’t want to end up marrying someone with a career goal like garbage collector and you a successful manager? Find out what your partner wants to accomplish in life and how it will affect the relation ship in the future. Next try to always be very supportive of your partners career goals. This is very crucial for any relationship to be successful. Many relationships fail because a partner/spouse failed to support another partner/spouse’s career goals.

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Spending Habits

When in a relationship/engaged it is very important to talk about spending habits. Good spending can result in a happy relationship, where as bad spending on the other hand can result in an unhappy, miserable relationship. It is always best to strive for a happy relationship always. That is why spending habits are just as important as career goals. Always try to spend your own hard-earned money, not your partner/spouse’s money. This will eliminate any money problems in the future.

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Hobbies

Hobbies are another imperative factor to consider when in a relationship/engaged. It may not seem important to you now, but believe me it is.  Spouses hobbies should correspond. Hobbies that don’t correspond often result in argumentative relationships. You don’t want to end up in a relationship like that do you? To avoid this you must try to determine which hobbies you and your spouse enjoy. Encourage some out-door hobbies, that will allow you to mingle and meet new friends. Try engaging in activities that allow both of you to participate. This will be to your advantage in the future.

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Living Conditions/Habits

Before getting married, it is smart to determine your spouses living conditions. You don’t have to make any living arrangements, but you should still try to get an idea of what it would be like living together. Then you can really begin bonding with your spouse without unwanted interruptions. This is crucial for a good foundation in any relationship. But before you just start opening your doors to someone and inviting them in, try to determine what kind of person they are. Try to understand the person and all their perspective on life. Try to learn as much as you can about your partner/spouse. You don’t want to end up living with a psychopathic loser, do you?

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Past Relationships

Though its is true the past is the past and it should be left in the past, but knowing the past does help make the future a lot better. Always try to determine what type of people your spouse has been with, their interests, hobbies, and other little facts you can manage to ascertain. It is a known fact that your spouse will protest, but simply explain that you are just trying to find out what type of person he/she really is, and they should come around. It is very important that you do so, because your future is at stake.

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The In-Laws

The in-laws have traditionally been portrayed as the mean, disgruntled, unsatisfied parents in any relationship, but don’t let that deter you. Getting to know the in-laws is just as important as determining the spending habits or living conditions of your partner/spouse. The in-laws play a major role in a relationship, whether you like it or not. That role may not be easily identifiable, but they do play a role, none the less. The difference between a successful long-term relationship/marriage and an unsuccessful short-term relationship/marriage is, the satisfaction of the in-laws. In an unsuccessful short-term relationship/marriage the in-laws are generally not satisfied with the spouses choice. Where as in a successful long-term relationship/marriage the in-laws are generally satisfied with the spouses choice. Get it? That’s why it is important for you, to make sure that you get to know the in-laws and ensure that they are satisfied with you.

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Children Plans

When planning to get married, it is imperative that you consider having children. This may not be a topic that is easily discussed, but it is relevant non the less. Spouses should acknowledge that marriage is a big step, and as a result they are be expected to bring a child into this world, with manners and who are financially secure. This should be discussed regularly, in order  to eliminate the element of surprise. Spouses are urged to not get married without having discussed the possibility of children, always try to remember that. Raising children is a lot of hard work. You and your spouse should mentally prepare for the burdens of child raising. Raising children take a lot of money and time. This should be included in your discussion as well. Also when discussing the possibility of children, try to ask yourself a few question. Questions like, am I ready for a child? Do I have enough money to provide for that child? What type of parent should I be? Are my living conditions suitable for child raising? Always keep that in mind.

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Good and Bad Qualities

 Relationships/marriage tend to involve evaluating someone’s good and bad qualities. This is critical when planning to tie the knot. You don’t want to end up marrying someone you can’t stand to think about do you? That is why you must take time to ascertain their good and bad qualities, and assess whether or not it corresponds with yours. Take time to figure out whether your spouse displays qualities you like/dislike. This is crucial as well. You don’t want to end up being embarrassed by an unmanned spouse. If you spouse is displaying qualities you don’t like, you calmly discuss it with your partner/spouse. Do not under any circumstance start-up an argument over it. That never ends well. If on the other hand your partner/spouse displays exemplary qualities, then he/she must be immediately praised. This encourages them to display those good qualities again.

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Religious Beliefs

 Before getting married try to identify your spouses religious beliefs. Their belief system is not as important as ascertaining someone’s qualities, but it is important non the less. It is important to know whether your spouse is christian, muslim, Jewish, Buddhist, Hindu, Mormon, Scientology, Wiccan, agnostic,  or atheist, because conflicting religious beliefs can often result in a sour relationship. Always try to avoid this. Also try to identify whether or not religion affects your life as a couple. 

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Travel Plans

 It is imperative that you discuss travel plans before marriage. This means talking about whether you or your partner/spouse plan on going on work related trips often, or plan on working from home, or in the office once married. You may not think it’s imperative, but it is. A good relationship requires communication. Communication about travel plans is just as imperative as assessing someone’s religious belief. Never leave anything to chance, because you always end up with a broken heart. Long distance relationships are never easy, ad tend to never work. Keep that in mind. 

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The Difference Between A Wedding And A Marriage 

A wedding is for one day, a marriage supposed to last a lifetime, remember that! Matrimony is a colossal step. Therefore every precautionary measure should be taken before committing. Marriage should be cherished and sacred. Don’t taint the sanctity of  marriage by committing adultery. In order for your marriage to last a lifetime all the steps above must be followed. If any of the steps are skipped, then you are in danger of your marriage ending in a divorce. 

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Wedding plans

Wedding plans are just as crucial as travel plans. For you see without planning for the big day, the big day will never come. Lot’s of careful thought has to be put into planning a successful wedding. What you must remember when planning a wedding is what an ideal wedding consists of? What would you like in your wedding that would make it magnificent?. Eloping with your fiance and two friends is not the ideal wedding. The ideal wedding is a wedding in a church surrounded by all your friends and family, beautiful music playing in the background, a beautiful ceremony, with lots of heartfelt speeches, and a magnificent reception, with some of the best music the world has ever heard. For this to be achieved meticulous scheming must initiated. Then and then alone can you procure an ideal wedding. Constantly discuss the wedding arrangements with your partner/spouse. Spare not detail when planning a magnificent wedding. Spend some time deciding what music you would like, or flowers, or decorations or even the location daily. A wedding is only as good as the planning.

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 Future Plans

No one knows the future, and no one has anyway of knowing the future either. That’s why it is essential that you and your spouse make plans for the future. You never know where you might end up in the next five years, or what might happen to you either, so it’s wise to make a future plan. Encourage your spouse to get a journal, and write down the future plan for the next five years, and constantly check on it to make sure you not going off track. It’s that easy. This way you can ensure your life is going in the direction you want it to go. In the end you will thank me. You may want to write down, your plans for the kids, your will and testament, job plans, travel plans, anything that you will want to do in the future. This will be a great help in the long run.

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How To Fight and Make up

Conflict in a relationship/marriage is inevitable. That’s a fact, but there is a way to avoid conflict in a relationship/marriage. Marriage’s rely solely on communication. Lack of  good communication results in arguments. A profusion of good communication results in a happy argument free relationship. Always try to strive for a happy relationship, one free of arguments. It’s better for your health and the success of your relationship/marriage. In order to achieve an argument free relationship you must first learn how to control your anger. Then alone shall you be able to achieve an argument free relationship. Also you must learn to forgive and forget. This is crucial for a good relationship. Once married, always try to forgive your partner, no matter how big the situation is. For you see it is not wise to hold grudges. When in a relationship you should also insist that you and your partner/spouse have anger management practice sessions. This will assist you in the future, when a real situation arises.  

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 Dream Home

Before getting married, do not forget to discuss your future dream home. You don’t want to end up living in a cardboard box do you? That is why it is vital that you and your spouse constantly converse about what he/she’s ideal dream house should look like from top to bottom, in and out. Let your spouse know before hand exactly where you imagine your dream home to be located, the size?, how many floors it will have, is it going to be glass, marble, or brick?, floor texture? etc. Spare no detail when conversing. No harm can come from that. 

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Spouse’s Opinion On Political Issues

 It is mandatory that you ascertain your partner’s opinion on important political topics. This may not be as important as planning your dream home, but it is important non the less. Always try to ascertain how your partner feels about gay marriage, abortion, gun control and voters right. You don’t necessarily have to agree with them, but you should at least hear them out and support their views.

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 Good And Bad Communication

Good communication is vital for a successful relationship/marriage. For there to be good communication in a relationship/marriage you and your spouse must be completely honest with each other at all times. Also you must be a good listener. Many relationships fail because you or your spouse failed to listen, thus resulting in a break up. This can be avoided, if you and your spouse/partner come together at a certain time each day, and just casually talk about everything that happened during the day. Get everything off your chest and lay everything on the table. Honesty is always the best policy. This will eliminate all communication problems in the future.

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Marital Stress

 Before getting married it is imperative that you practice good stress relief techniques with your partner. This is mandatory because stress is one of the main reason for a number of divorces today.  Even happy marriages end in divorce most times as a result of stress. You should always try to make sure you delve into any stress issue you and your partner/spouse may be having. Never leave any problem unsolved. Your relationship is dependent apon it. All problems are important no matter how big or small. Keep that in mind.

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Love levels

Love is crucial in any relationship. Love is the foundation for any successful relationship/marriage. Therefor  it is vital that you do some soul-searching  and ascertain whether or not you love your spouse. This should be done in your own spare time and not necessarily in the presence of your spouse. This may take some time so don’t be hastily proposing or accepting any proposals until then. Love cannot be left out when planning to get married. If you don’t love your partner/spouse then you should end the relationship immediately and move on. Do not under any circumstance believe, that you can change a person after you get married! That is WRONG! There is only a 5% chance they will change. For you see people are less willing to change after marriage, for a number of reasons. That is why you should always try to get them to change before you get married. This then increases your chances of a successful marriage permeating with love.

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The Family

Getting to know the family before marriage is critical. This is so because, you must know what you are getting into before the marriage. You don’t want to end up marrying prince charming with an ogre family do you? That is why before getting married try to organize a couple of family lunches or some family affairs in order to get well acquainted with the family. This should be a regular practice when considering proposing to someone or considering accepting a proposal. Family affairs are a great way of meeting your partner/spouse’s entire family all in one location. You should try to get to know their personality, age, occupation, favorite hobbies and favorite television shows. Always seem interested when learning about the family, never give off the impression that the information they are giving  is boring or not important to you. Always try to remember that. What’s also important is your partner/spouse’s relationship with his/her family. Take note of how he/she responds to the parents/siblings. It is important. 

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Vacations

When planning to get married it is crucial to plan family vacations as well. Vacations are a great way of releasing work related stress and family tension. That is why it is imperative that you organize family vacations every six months or so. Your family will appreciate it. Also it is a great way of get the kids exposed to new cultures. It is essential for good development in children. Vacation is also a great way of meeting new friends in different countries and meeting new business associates. That is why you must not forget to take a little vacation once in a while. It’s essential for a happy marriage.

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Family Obligations

Before getting married it is paramount that you carefully assess how much time you spend with your family, how much time you intend to spend with your family after marriage, and how much time do you expect your partner/spouse to spend with them. Also it is imperative that you plan how you and the family are going to spend the holidays, and how much time are you going to allocate to family affairs. It is also imperative that you plan the division of household chores. Do not depend on your partner/spouse to do everything. This kind of attitude only results in divorce or heart-break. You don’t want that do you?

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Sex

Before getting married you should ask yourself a couple of questions. Do you really want to just have sex with one person? Can you really handle the responsibility of a wife? Are you really ready to settle down? Can you even have sex with one person for the rest of your life? Are you ready to make that commitment? Will you be able to stay faithful? Will you want her to be unfaithful? Are you ready to take care of children without sex? These are some of the questions you need to ask yourself before marriage. It ill help you a lot when making the final decision.

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Careers

When getting married it is imperative to ask yourself a couple of questions about your career. Questions like, how important is your career to you? Does your partner/spouse approve? How will your career affect family life? Do you have schooling to complete? Do you have a stable career? These are some of the most important questions you should ask yourself. For you see when getting married, career is very important. Always try to ensure that you have a good career before you start making plans to get married. 

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Division Of House Chores

Before getting married it is essential that division of labour be planned out. Your partner/spouse does not want to be trapped doing all the chores while you do nothing. This will only result in arguments. To avoid this try to plan in advance who will do what chores and when. This will help eliminate the problem. Chores should be fairly divided, and done completely by each partner. There is nothing wrong with doing chores. There is only a problem when you fail to do your chores. Failure to do chores only results in laziness and confusion. Try to keep an open mind about it, and just get it done. It won’t kill you to help out around the house so please do. You will thank me in the end.

 “Marriage a serious commitment. Treat it like one!” – Yannick Theodore

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